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A Complete Waste of Time
A Complete Waste of Time is a forum adventure by clandestineTechie revolving around a bunch of trolls (of the homestuck variety) playing a strange MMORPG called META. Unlike a typical command-based adventure, CWoT is primarily story-driven, though commands still influence the means by which the narrative is explored. Plot Synopsis META Gameplay : "MEETAA, aas iits naamee iimpliiees, iis noot aaboouut wiinniing buut raatheer hoow yyoouu wiin" :: --Felis, on gameplay META is a mutually managed organized reality producing game (MMORPG) that the trolls have started playing. Upon installation, the player is transported to a realm of fantasy. All players are transported to the same session universe, but each player is placed in a different part of the world. There are several different character classes a player is assigned that cover the spectrum of typical RPG archetypes. New installations also add material types, and initialize part of the world. Players have access to a HUD (usually first accessed in a fit of rage or stupidity), which contains the ATLAS (a map), BANTER (a chat room with all current participants), COMPETENCE (special abilities), and DOSSIER (stats) tabs. After every player installs, four more tabs are added: EXCHANGE (presumably trading), FACTIONS (player-managed groups), GOALS (shows player progress), and HIERARCHY (ranks players based on various factors). On the dossier, there are four stats that can be raised with points earned at every level: PHYSIQUE (strength), ALACRITY (dexterity), WIZARDRY (magical power), and PIZZAZZ (charisma). There are also two other stats listed, KARMA and ESTEEM, which can be raised but not from points. Karma is raised by kind acts to other players, and is dropped by killing other players. Esteem is effectively karma with NPCs, and relates to how well known the player is among the populace. When a player joins, their dungeon is added to a metaphorical chain, linking the players together. Thusfar the only goal of META is to complete all of the dungeons, starting with your own, and then working down the line as players join. It has been confirmed that after all players join, the chain loops back around. VP's diary has alluded to "keys" and an "egg" that unleash a beast of immense power, presumably a final boss. Killing monsters is unique in META in that the way you kill a monster is more important than whether or not you were victorious. Depending on a character's class, being sneaky, accurate, flashy, or otherwise clever in your attacks nets a player huge EXP bonuses. Devas : "Devas are clones of you and they are stupid and say stupid things in stupid accents." :: --"lethalCatharsis", on devas In each player's home dungeon, there are two clones representing two halves of their conscience. The positive deva (gold) is responsible for decisions that affect other people, where the negative deva is concerned for the self. They can be destroyed only by the player they represent, and doing so removes that half of that player's moral views. Destroying one creates a very polarized character, and destroying both seems to cause insanity. Plato claims he was unaffected by destroying his devas, going on gut feeling rather than morals. After the dungeon is completed, the devas are released into the game world where they can be summoned at will as fighting partners, or whenever the player weighs the ethics of their decisions. They are not inherently loyal to the person they represent, as demonstrated by Lyanne's positive deva. It is possible that neglect to a moral spectrum weakens a deva or even kills them, as PAE refused to help a dying Lyanne "she knows how I feel". Dream World The dream world is a key part of META, and is normally accessed by falling asleep in the game world. It is divided into two halves, Philan and Mizan, relating to the positive and negative selves respectively. Connecting the two is a tunnel through the mountain in the center of both halves, capped by THE DOME. As players complete dungeons, the dome approaches completion. When finished, it turns into THE EGG, which can be hatched to summon the ARCHFIEND, the final boss of META. If defeated, players can return home. Players have a dream self in Philan and Mizan, and which one is active while sleeping can be swapped at will. A positive self can infiltrate Mizan, and vice versa, however due to a war that is going on between the two halves doing so would put the player at great risk. If a player destroys one of their devas, the corresponding dream self violently explodes. It is unknown what happens when a player falls asleep with no dream selves. When the archfiend is summoned, the king/queen of both Philan and Mizan are awakened to assist players. The king and queen can be slain by players, and doing so promotes that player to the new king/queen. Kings and queens are bound to the game until defeated. The archfiend also seems to take after the species of the king or queen. Between Philan and Mizan is the DREAMLESS NEVERAETHER, where the deer god seems to exist, and grants a single wish to winning teams. This is the final test of META, and determines whether or not the players' home planet deserves protection by a god. What qualifies as a winning wish is unknown, though prosperity for extinct species and removing META from existence are losing wishes. Trolls aegisMason : "mos to fm ybandwidt hi sspen to nth ecamera s,oka y" The first troll introduced in the adventure. Lorrex is a cyber security expert and his home is littered with traps and security cameras. The player attempted to nickname him Infinity, but Lorrex hated the idea. He used to cloak himself in a white security blanket that got lost sometime before entering META. This blanket later returned in the form of a white cape. After a series of ridiculous events he ended up unconscious on his front lawn, and when he woke up he presumably had a lot of messages to check. He joined META, and formed "Tea mBette rTha nPlato' sTeam" to combat the difficulty curve. He seems genuinely interested in helping Vera overcome her emotional instability, though in a rather calculated, logical way. migrantMorality : "|t see/|\s to be do|/\/g f|/\/e \|/|thout /|\y |/\/ter\/e/\/t|o/\/." After Lorrex had a lapse in judgement, the player became Viridian. The player called her Missing and Rude when she dream walked away from sight. Viridian is a wanderer, who has complete control over the natural world. When talking to plants she connects to the great life network and can also be contacted via instant messaging. Viridian is a bit of a loner. She isn't particularly interested in teamwork and prefers to be self-sufficient. She was smitten by VP (after hearing about Seconian society), and became enraged when she realized that PM was involved in its destruction, furthering her hatred for Vera. Sometime in the future of META, Viridian will pacify the sea denizen STEELMOLAR, and use it as a personal boat. entertainingAmmo : "DUDE i cant BELIEVE what i just FOUND" Chad is the third playable troll in the adventure, and first one mentioned after Lorrex. He is a total badass with yoyos, as he knows all the tricks and invents new ones "to keep ahead of the crowd". He used to live in a giant warehouse of unknown size, and spent his days going on adventures finding new cool stuff. Chad organizes his findings based on how cool they are, on an arbitrary scale of "coolians". He seems to have reckless disregard for how little his friends actually care about the things he does. Despite his friends' advice, Chad stacked his naturally high pizzazz stat in META. Instead of brute-forcing combat, he uses his wits and coolness to get mad bonus EXP. He has also used his high PIZZAZZ stat to become incredibly wealthy, and famous among the NPCs. Convincing some to join his crew, he purchased a pirate ship, and has since been sailing the seas of META. He is also credited with coming up with the plan to save the trolls' doomed META session. mishapEngineer : "chill man, calm down, 3his 1nt 2ake you long im 7ure" Rick is an inventor who is greatly talented but bored often, so he designs things that will intentionally break. When he was first introduced, the player attempted to name him Rikako Asakura, a girl's name. Rick is the first character introduced to not refer to his friends as jackasses, and actually seems to like them. His right arm is an extendable cyborg hand. Rick, along with Moira, Lorrex, Lyanne, and prescriptionMiasma, played some form of Sgrub in the past. Because of this, he has a lot of experience with games and is doing pretty well for himself. While originally part of TBTPT, the team disowned him. He instead teamed up with Camille and Gabe, forming "294". patienceEngine : "...PE thinks you guys are being a bit rude!!!" Moira was the fifth playable troll. She has the ability to stretch her perception of time indefinitely, which arose after an accident involving an attempt to fly. This is probably linked to the fact she idolizes WINGED ARBITERS and has a strong will to enforce justice on evil. Moira has a very overactive imagination and sometimes gets "a bit carried away". She chose gray as her typing color instead of her blood (presumably blue) because she is modest. In META, Moira is the defender class, which can alleviate other players' penalty on death by sacrificing a level. In return, she earns karma points and is granted angelic wings. Despite her leveling handicap, she is still the most powerful naturally-leveled player. Her role as a guardian of sorts seems to be getting to her, as she has begun setting out to enact justice as she sees fit, including (ironically) killing Camille for killing Plato. As of late, she appears to be seen as a pawn by VP, who is keeping her from sleeping (and exploring the dream world). Instead, the queen is pushing her to keep combating the defender of chaos, who isn't putting up much of a fight. ethicalProxy : "who do you think you are kidding?* :*: it's not me Layla is of the conjurer class, and wields in fire and ice magic. Prior to META, she was an ace attorney who was constantly bailing Plato out of trouble. EP is slowly becoming more and more obsessed with gold, already adorned in a golden cape, jewelry, and a highlight in her hair. Whenever she says something, it happens, however Layla has yet to accept that there is some magnificent power at work, rather praising her remarkable intellect. EE, however, is aware of this ability, and tricks her into utilizing it.She really is pretty smart, having advised Chad through the early stages of the game. Layla and Plato are collectively referred to as "the twins", because they share the same horns and a very similar symbol. They are not directly related, though. As of late, her relationship with Plato has been becoming increasingly strained. equitableMasochist : "i n=v=r mak= moral d=cisions i go with my gut" Plato is a well-dressed, cold-hearted heartless criminal with some really good connections (namely Layla, his moirail). He's been responsible for a lot of under-the-table shenanigans and doesn't seem to blink at the idea of murder. EM desires a leadership role, which he may have attained to some degree already, as the other players followed his lead early in game. Later, when he formed the "Winning T=eam", only Layla and Chad joined. Soon after entering his dungeon, he encountered and killed both of his devas because they were annoying him. He was supposedly unchanged, because he never makes moral decisions, though Cerana believes he has recently become "more of a jerk". aphoticPuppeteer : "the_ last_ thing_ you_ will_ see_ will_ be_ your_ ritzy_ blue_ blood_ on_ my_ knife_ coming_ out_ of_ your_ black_ heart_" Camille is a gamer at heart and competitive to a fault. After an arson incident in her past, AP developed powers of invisibility (and an uncontrollable temper), making her a very frightening assassin. She has a very strong vendetta against Plato, after PM told her that he was responsible for an arson incident in the past. She is capable of change, though, as towards the end of her arc she contemplated forgiving Plato for the past (if he was even responsible to begin with). EE originally alluded to her eventually teaming up with Plato and friends, but she instead is working with Rick and Gabe. automaticEnd : "//just because you're all incompetent doesn't mean I'm out to get all of you!" A skilled hacker who has, among other things, completely broken her installation META to give her max stats, materials and gold. Because she is such a high level by comparison to the other players, everything has been made incredibly difficult for everything else because of META's level balancing mechanic. She joined META out of boredom near the end of the chain, even though she was one of the first to get the client. Despite this, she has already become bored of the game, and is completing dungeons as fast as possible. Her right eye is cybernetic, and seems to be capable of scanning in-game objects, as well as projecting a laser screen. AE has given an air of being very manipulative in the interest of entertainment, and seems like she would be good friends with PM. She is easily bored, even when getting involved in important, end-game aspects of META, and falls asleep from lack of interest. Through a group effort, the other trolls were able to delevel her from 255 to 2. prolixAntiphon : "ive just never played anything quite like this there arent any colorful jewels to line up or words to form theres just a lot of dangerous things everywhere what kind of game is that ill tell you its not a very fun one" PA knows very little about META, despite being one of the first to start playing. She prefers casual games, and gets more of a thrill out of the social experience of META than the competition or goals. For a while she was traveling with AA, but somewhere along the line she fell asleep and they have since parted ways. Cerana has spent most of the game trying to locate her dungeon, to no success. Recently, she began doing quests instead of hunting monsters. She is also half fish now. Neat. She is in possession of some golden bracelets that keep appearing and disappearing. They seem to be of significance. aimlessAlchemist : "eeveen wiith myy taaleents II'd bee haard preesseed too coomee uup wiith aa uusee foor leeaad" Felis was the first to join the trolls' META session, and is often called in to explain game mechanics. It is heavily implied that AA has a strong understanding of the material types, as alchemy in some form is a hobby of hers. Supposedly she also loves cooking, but is bad at it. At some point while assisting Cerana in finding her dungeon, she was knocked out, and ended up back in her homeland of Tuor-Rok. There, she accidentally crafted a god-tier bow by forging a glitchy material. It was affectionately named "Sasha". muteAspersion : "this game sucks" Gabe, as he prefers to be called, is the epitome of introvertism. He keeps to himself and doesn't talk much, to avoid forming close relationships. This is partially due to his "death touch", which he is shown wearing gloves to contain. It was with this death touch he was able to spawncamp Lyanne down to a reasonable level, returning a semblance of order back to the troll's META session. Ironically enough, he is into shipping, and keeps many lists and writes poetry. Among the lists, his "hit list", keeps track of who wants who dead. Gabe is unable to see color, making him only able to see shades of gray. mindProspector : "there's is like 50 of me right now" Milo is a hipster who constantly attempts to be cool like his rival, Chad, but fails due to a lack of self-confidence. Despite advancing quite well in the early parts of the game, he had never cast a spell, and soon after realizing he is the worst wizard ever, had a mental breakdown. His emotional instability is probably a side effect of his random cloning ability, which creates copies of himself in every way except the knowledge of if they are the original. When these copies are killed, their memories are merged with the original's, leaving Milo very temporally displaced (having experienced some points in time many times over). In the future, he becomes a very powerful time-traveling wizard, and attempts to save the trolls' session from ending in total ruins. prescriptionMiasma : "I can bArelE hEar U over the sound of mE not giving a shit." PM's plot relevance is quickly approaching singularity. She is the server player of the troll's META session, responsible for distributing the client, or everyone will die. In game, she is referred to as "the goddess", which will no doubt create shenanigans now that she is playing. PM also seems to have invented wireless communication technology, which was directly responsible for introducing the idea of violence to the peaceful utopian planet of Seconia. Some time in the past, the trolls also played some version of sgrub, and PM was partially responsible for nearly getting everyone killed. For the most part, the other trolls bear animosity towards PM. Whether it is the result of previous events or her rude, sarcastic demeanor (or some combination of both) is an unknown quantity. percolatedPlasma : "IS IUT SO MUCHG TO ASKJ TO HAVE A LITTLE TASET OF BL;OOD OINCE IN A WHIL;E" Graves is an easily enraged cannibal who enjoys the taste of blood. He has a beast-like sense of smell, and can taste emotions and subtle flavors in troll blood. He is very interested in murdering Chad for years of endless babbling about his daily discoveries. Since his fingers have long, sharp claws, he typically types with his knuckles, and when angered resorts to punching his keyboard. During a pesterlog with Chad, he completely destroyed his keyboard in rage. He is represented by the alchemical symbol for Potassium, which is a notably reactive element. PP seems to trust Gabe. When MA finished spawncamping Lyanne, he cut her to draw PP in with the scent of blood to quell Grave's hunger. Presumably several other undocumented kills or actions have netted him negative KARMA, which inverse to Moira, gave him demonic wings. Since he killed his positive deva early on, he is only able to dream in Mizan. Much to PV's grief, PP absolutely hates Mizan. Because of the bitter Defender vs. Defender idea VP gave to Moira, PP was often killed due to Moira's "rightous" actions. He later forgives her after the time rewind, donning angel wings when he saved her from death. enigmaEducator : "You do not need to be ?o formal w!th me !f you don't want to. !t !? a b!t un?ettl!ng." '' Noel is a sea-dwelling troll who is in close contact with prescriptionMiasma. The two installed very close together, and immediately formed a separate group (Team ?ovre!gn). EE said he would still inform the other players of their dungeon locations, but otherwise they would work alone. Later in META, he affiliated himself with the snake spirits, changing his syntax to include extra "?"s. EE has the ability to hear the thoughts of those he is near, making him seem omniscient. Noel uses his information advantage to manipulate others, though he usually has good intentions. Ithicans Ithicans come from the planet Seconia. They are a plant-animal hybrid species that played META before the trolls. Though originally peaceful, affectionate and kind, the events that have transpired since the introduction of the game have changed their fragile psyche radically. With the exception of the 8 ithicans that played META, their species is now extinct. *: Translated from runic text virulentPanacea : ''"I cannot have tricksters and liars among my ranks." VirulentPanacea, earlier known as ??, is the very powerful Queen of Philan, at level "255+" and infinite stats. Her class is listed as +Asc.Defender. VP was first seen convincing Chad to join META, which chronologically happened after talking to Rick about joining. VP seems to be motivated to get other people to play META, and once there, maintain order in Philan. After a series of complex events, VP killed her negative deva, attained level 100, and rose to power as the Queen of Philan. At the end of VP's session, she decided to stay in META instead of going home, and has presumably resided there since. In the intermission, Virulent is a purist- an ithic that refuses to use metal, though she is shown to be curious about its origins. permanentVenom : "Hey worthlezz, glad you could make it here without fucking up more zhit." Permanent was the other of the two players who stayed in META after its conclusion. He is as negative as VP is positive, rude and callous to those he talks to. In his session, PV is described by VP as an enemy, despite the two being friendly towards each other while on Seconia. At the beginning of the intermission, Permanent is shown having the polite, grammatically correct structure every other ithic talks with. It is unknown at this time what caused this dramatic shift, thought it is hinted that his conversation with automaticEnd was one of the factors. virtuisticVivacity : "A sapling does not grow into a tree without rich soil to root in. : Is the tree steadfast? '' : ''Of course. '' : ''But it was persistence and faith in its ground that has strengthened it." VV is a close friend of VP, referred to as a "historian". He is a sea-dweller, and was contacted by engimaEducator before META, warning him of imminent destruction. At the end of META wielding a flaming bow. We don't even know his last name. pliablePaeans : "The branches swayed in the wind '' : ''are those that dance in the sunlight '' : ''their willingness to change, a blessing '' : ''to sing the first note in times of curse" One of VP's friends. Canonically, it is up to her to restore life to Seconia after META destroyed the planet. astralObligation : "There is only so much you can learn about us that can be explained with words." Astral was the ithican that formally introduced Virulent to metal. He was also chosen as VP's mate, to Permanent's dismay. magnificentArcus : "Your ability to make foolish decisions borders on prodigious." Magnificent was first shown traveling with Astral. She is very untrusting of purists. "Transcendent" : "To be quite honest, it is a foolish story." Transcendent says very little. He is first shown traveling with Astral. "Unified" Never been shown, only referred two twice. Unified is implied to be a metallith (in contact with AO's group), but with some myofiber limbs. (The ithicans' session had two full metalliths at its beginning, Permanent and presumably Astral). Assuming he is the "friend" Astral talked about in his story of the history of metal, he invented metal bonding. According to CT, his blood color is a dark emerald color. Trivia * Most characters thusfar have done something mundane that was a complete waste of time. Whenever it happens, the title drop is bolded. * Each character arc is covered in 35 pages. It was coincidence up to the end of the EA arc. ** The EP/EM arc lasted 70 pages after a 2x Introduction Combo. ** Assuming the intermission began on "I A Complete Waste of Time: The Seconian Memoirs", the intermission lasted 105 (35*3) pages. Tropes *Color By Technicolor - Entire adventure, outside of some stylized panels. *Gorblesnatch von Humperdink - Seconia's original name *Hello, Insert Name Here - In compliance with standard homestuck troll introduction procedure. *Hey Guys - ? pages used for explanation or recaps. *Red Darts - End of Lorrex's arc. Also, If Cerana goes unconscious one more time this adventure she is going to be PISSED. *Voices In My Head - Especially Viridian, even to the point where she tries to find ways to get rid of them. *You Are Now This Guy - Every introduction, like clockwork. Category:Adventures Category:clandestineTechie Adventures